registry relationship: it’s complicated


{or maybe I just make everything complicated}
Have you heard of a honeymoon registry?  Click here for a detailed Q&A


Prelude: The first time I heard about this concept was about four years ago, and my immediate impression –“this is pretty awesome”. 
Fast Forward: The FI and I have lived together for almost two years now, and we have accumulated many of the traditional registry items that couples put on their “wish list.”  Sure, I could use matching china and fluffier towels; sturdy silverware and gorgeous vases; candlesticks and an espresso machine . . . who couldn’t?  
However, two things:

1.     We’re still moving around a lot. We rent – no permanent home, no permanent lay out.

2.      I’m only 24, and I just personally haven’t found my nesting style yet. 

See, I do things in a certain order that make sense to me {and quite possibly only me}.  For years I have been focused on getting through college.  Once I graduated {2008}, my mental energy was redirected to wedding planning and getting a job (a $10 an hour internship doesn’t give you much freedom of style either.).  Right now, I really feel that the ill-matching dishes we’ve accumulated in our two years of sharing a home are okay for now.

{Nesting = matching home décor, a banana hammock, cooking dinner every night, home entertainment pieces, hosting game night}

Trust me, these are all items I very much want in the future, but right now I just can’t think that far ahead. I really don’t want to register for items I kind-of like or will end up Good Will-ing in a year.  I don’t know what I need; I don’t know what the good stuff is.  
What I can think about though, is our honeymoon.  We have never taken a trip like this together, and honestly, a tropical romantic vacation is something we both really want.  However, between my internship and him finishing graduate school, it may be a little harder for us to take that dream trip.

Cue the investigation . . .

I read quite a few reviews on honeymoon registries; a lot of people were on board with the newer model, and others weren’t so much, exclaiming they found it cheesy and tacky. 

I hate those words.  I don’t want my wedding to be considered “cheesy” or “tacky.”

You want to know my bottom line though: we did a honeymoon registry. 

I have to be me, I have to be us. I can’t do the tradition just because, well, it’s a tradition.  I love finding new styles and new trends.  This one may never quite make it, or maybe it’ll become the norm a hundred years down the road.  I don’t know. But I’m going to try it.

{Check out my honeymoon registry recommendations at the bottom of the post.}

Through the research, I did find a suggestion I could get on board with.  Offer a traditional registry to complement the honeymoon registry. 

Why I think this is a good idea?

No, it’s not a decision made out of greed either.  Anne from “I Will” to “I Do” suggests the traditional registry would be good for “those guests who would prefer to send you something for your home.”  I like this idea because the bride and groom are then able to satisfy the traditionalists, yet add a fresh approach that suits them.  After all, neither registry need to be jam-packed. 

the groom’s fantasy 🙂

Have any of you done or seen a honeymoon registry? I would love to hear your comments and feedback!



Honeymoon Registry Recommendations

Allows  you to register by adding activities to your honeymoon. Guests get to pick which activities (or portions of) they would like to gift you.  Honeyfund is free – unlike other sites – and merely ask for donations throughout your membership with them.  Note: if you choose to receive money via your PayPal account, PayPal will charge just 3% of the total accumulated.  Honeyfund will walk you through the process should you decide to receive your gifts this way.

Other registries that seem to have gotten good feedback:

See full size image

Note: these last three do charge, whether it’s an upfront fee or a portion of your gifts, beware on charging guidelines.

Hope these help, just do a little research to see what other couples are registering for and which one might be best for you!



Filed under honeymoon, registry

5 responses to “registry relationship: it’s complicated

  1. kadeeswedding

    Check out what theKnot had to say about a honeymoon registry!

    Traveler’s Joy Honeymoon Registry

    Skip the blender. Create lifelong memories with your honeymoon registry. Our service is similar to a traditional wedding registry, but rather than offer gifts such as housewares and fine china, Traveler’s Joy helps you register for the honeymoon of your dreams.

    Visit for more information.

    Registry partner with The Knot
    Go anywhere, book travel with anyone, register for anything
    Consistently rated best honeymoon registry for design and value by top wedding and travel publications

    Register for the honeymoon of your dreams!

    One lucky couple will win a 7 night all-inclusive vacation at the award-winning Jungle Bay Resort & Spa in Dominica! Register with Traveler’s Joy today and you will automatically be entered to win!**

  2. Kadee, I like the idea of a honeymoon registry. However, I do think you should a traditional registry as well. First, like you said, some guests will want to give you an actual item instead of cash or travel gift… so doing a registry will help steer them towards gifts you would actually like. Also, even though you don’t know exactly what your “nesting style” is right now, you should consider that for many years you may not be able to afford to purchase for yourself the type of nesting items people might give you. And, if you are able to, it’s okay to replace them. Just because they’re a wedding gift, you don’t have to keep them forever. However, I’ve been married for 10 years & still use the plates, knives, cutting board, Kitchenaid mixer & other wedding gifts on a daily basis. Do some of them need to be replaced? Sure, but I have other $$ priorities, so I’m glad I have those items to use.

  3. kadeeswedding

    Hey Sara, I just saw your comment! Thank you so much for your response and insight, I think it’s good to hear other brides have gone through and what they think when it’s all said and done — there is no other teacher better than experience and I truly like to hear what others think when they have gone through something I have yet to experience.

  4. So glad you are into the honeymoon registry thing…I just wish you had heard about us too! We are

    With Deposit a Gift you can register for your honeymoon, a new home down payment, or anything else you’re thinking of. When we created the site we had in mind exactly the concerns you stated in your article.

    We just got a great writeup on RecessionWire yesterday that I think answers some of the etiquette questions, in case it’s of interest:

    I do agree with Sara (above) that you want to give your guests choices, whether its varied price points for the gifts and also maybe to include at least 1 traditional registry with just a few items. On our site, you can actually list those on your registry too, so everything is in one place. Here’s a link to the Samples page:

    Hope that info was somewhat helpful. I’d be happy to answer any other questions. Don’t hesitate to email me directly:

    Here’s my bio so you know who you’re dealing with 🙂

    Cheers and congratulations!

  5. Pingback: Victory #10: The Registry «

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