peace out antiquated trends + traditions

Engagement, it totally changes the relevance of weddings for you as a guest.

All of a sudden you start scrutinizing the invitation of a dear friend, front to back, knowing exactly how much time and money went into it {Letter pressed, really? Girl should have gone without and saved the dough!} You start making a mental check-list of how yours is going to be better.

Then, when you actually get to the wedding, you find yourself picking apart every detail, sizing up the centerpieces, taking note of posture, examining the font size on the programs, and performing a Top Chef-worthy taste test on your free meal.

No joke – this is what being a to-be-bride turns you into.  Basically a wedding researcher {forget the “guest” part of it}.

On the other hand, you do learn to appreciate the little things that others may not notice or forgive. You know what it means to get that RSVP in the mail on time, understand that the slightest default on the address label doesn’t really matter and accept that the bride can {and inevitably will} go a little nutty at any point prior to the ceremony.

If you are not, or have not, been a bride, you may not understand. Brides – they make wedding planning their life for a year plus, and it’s too easy to judge others when you’re going through the exact same process.  Hence the phrase bridezilla – most often given to her by someone other than a current or recent bride. You may not understand ’til you are – simple as that.

My point is that it turns you into a very judgmental person.  And that’s not necessarily a negative inference {or positive for that matter} – you just change the way you observe how things go down.  TLC even picked up on this little character morph with their new series, Four Weddings.  The entire show is based on four brides attending each others’ weddings and judging them from best to worst. Winner gets a free honeymoon.

Anyway – I’m swaying from the point of my post, but you get the idea.

Having attended a friend’s recent wedding, there were details that I, of course, couldn’t help but focus on through out the night. And I’m talking intricacies – things normal people probably didn’t see at all. But it really got me thinking about antiquated traditions, wedding activities I don’t care for and certain events that seem a little odd – for us.

Disclaimer: these are my opinions and my opinions only. They’re not right or wrong.  Just because it’s a “tradition” though, doesn’t mean you have to do it. Remember – to each her own.

Traditions  I’ve observed/don’t like/aren’t including in my wedding day

{get out of there}

garter toss: Okay, I do love garters. I think they’re cute. I think they’re fun. However, my new husband crawling up under my dress in front of grandma is neither.

receiving line: This one can go. It takes up too much time and makes for a few awkward embraces among people you’ve only met for the first time.  Not to mention, those that want to chat will hold up the line, delaying dinner and making others a little grouchy.  In the Yakima heat, no less.

head table: I get that the bride and groom may want their dearest friends to surround them for their first meal as man + wife. I even get that they want them to “stand out from the crowd.” However, it alienates the significant other of a bridal party member and chances are, they don’t know many people there. Sure you can do a gigantic head table to accommodate for the significant others, but there are two alternatives I prefer:

1. Ask your best man and maid of honor (and their counterparts) to sit with you, making the head table a total of 6;

OR

2. Make the head table a table for two and reserve the needed number of tables around you for the bridal party and immediate family – making room for all.

{how awkward. no dude lays like that.}

cheesy poses: I want to have fun in my pictures sure, but cheesy poses {see above} make me cringe.

a too choreographed first dance: I’m all for learning a few steps in favor of the middle school sway for our first dance, but if you get too technical, that special moment becomes stiff and concentrated, rather than natural and light. I’d like to really just enjoy this moment . . . not stare at my feet the entire time.

cake smashing: It took a long time for me to get my face to look like that. Please don’t mess it up before the first dance. This silly little tradition can fade away for all I care.

tight updos: Again, this seems a little more high school dance than romantic wedding to me. I don’t hate them, I just don’t prefer them.

an all rose bouquet: I like roses, but we’re at a wedding, not a funeral. I prefer an array of blooms.

{love this idea}

taking pictures after the ceremony: Much like the receiving line, the lull keeps your hungry guests waiting and un-entertained. However, I do believe in a few exceptions: entire family pictures (you really don’t need them all there pre-ceremony); an all guest group shot; grandparent photos; signing of the marriage certificate, etc.

Mr. and Mrs. his first, his last name: Yep, I am taking his name – his last name. What happened to my first name? I’m still here and you can present us as Mr. and Mrs. his first name and my first name then, our last name.

poor posture: Bridesmaids – make sure that invisible string on your head (the one mom showed you) is holding your shoulders up. Also, feet together . . . you’re in a dress and heels, not boots and jeans. Poor posture doesn’t make for pretty pictures.

tiaras: Ew. Unless you’re the homecoming queen, just don’t.

{sorry Ms. Abdul}

keeping your back to your guests: Kind of. During the ceremony, at the very least, I’d like to try to keep some of my face visible to the guests. They want to see the emotion and hear the words.  It may be a little awkward to stand sideways, but when you have your back completely to your friends and family, much of the ceremony can get lost. I don’t want that.

Hmm, I had a lot more to say than I thought.

Again, these are just my preferences.

Food for thought.

Make it you,

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3 Comments

Filed under ceremony, Reception, tidbits, {advice}

3 responses to “peace out antiquated trends + traditions

  1. Ashley

    Funny!! I agree with most but weren’t you homecoming queen?? Ha ha!!

    • kadeeswedding

      yes but that’s where I think tiaras should stay . . . on the homecoming or prom queen. Definitely NOT the bride. 🙂

  2. Cordelia

    SOOOO excited for this wedding and for all those things you mentioned to not be involved in your joyful event!!! love you

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