the real world + the realization of Mrs.

{Michael Fisk Photography}

Well, I’m back in the saddle.  In all it’s haste and glamour, my wedding day came and went – just like the beautiful blur that everyone claimed it would be.  We honeymooned in Maui, came back to an overly eager pup and quite the messy abode.  Since then I’ve cleaned, recycled tons of cardboard, gift bags and tissue paper, sent heaps to Value Village, celebrated the hubby’s #31, trip’d it down to Portland to visit cousins and (thank god for this one) got a computer back. And in order. Oh yeah, and my music.  Computers are my life anymore.

Anyway, as I slowly delve into my ridiculously large and BS-of-a-conglom, laundry pile (a neglected pre-nuptial heap + 6 day Yak stack  + a 10 day Maui sand pile = you do the math) I find it difficult to adjust to the real world again.  Takes me back to that good old Matchbox 20 song from the 90s-something really {I wish the real world, would just stop hassling me}.  It was imminent anyway.  Sure, there a ton of things on my big to-do that I’ve been anxiously waiting to bite into since the wedding countdown set in, but . . . where to even begin?  Beginning . . . beginning any new project is hard.  Figuring out what I really want to do with my life, that’s hard too.  I was engaged straight out of the U and between that and the two years that I was a fiancée, I realized there was a little more education I was interested in and a little more prep I wanted to put into my career.  Were these values something I could get out of what I thought was my dream job just eight months ago? I need to figure it out.  I’m naked without the wedding. Nothing to hide behind anymore.  This freedom, to not be confined by being a bride, was something I was ready for so I could move on with life.   I’m adjusting though.  I’ve felt a sense of life in just this last week alone.

{Memory Montage Productions}

Another thing that’s taking it’s time is the realization of being Mrs. Gray.  As I said, the wedding was a blur and I was so jacked up on anxiety throughout the day that I never fully took the moment to let the meaning of marriage set in – I never let it be just me and him. And unlike the lovely Zsa Zsa, I only plan to do this once and so that, that I do regret. I don’t know if it would’ve been any different had I tried though. I guess everyone experiences things differently.

Becoming the Mrs., that slowly sinks in.  Every time I see my ring on his finger, it sinks in a bit.  It comes with practicing my new signature like a love-struck teen with her crush’s last name.  Or being called sis by the new in-laws. The little things make it real. It is real and I’m a wife. – a term I thought once only belonged to mom’s and teachers. It’s weird to say it . . . but I have a feeling I’ll get used to it :).

Real posts and pictures coming very, very soon. Thank you all for hanging in there with me.

Moving on,


Filed under Uncategorized

4 responses to “the real world + the realization of Mrs.

  1. Sunshine

    Perfectly stated, Kip… I’ve been thinking of you as I figured you were probably going through a transition phase now that all of your hard ‘wedding’ work has been completed. You made a beautiful bride and now you are making a beautiful wife! Thanks for sharing…

  2. maria chichenoff

    Kadee, every thing will come together. You had the build up of planning a wedding and now the let down. Reality can be harsh. You did a beautiful job of planning your wedding, Bill and I had a wonderful time. You had my kind of wine(must have been thinking of me), the food was very good and I loved the dancing, and the evening was very warm(rather have the heat than freezing cold or better yet the wind blowing). Also, please give your self some credit, you and Kyle had a lot of friends and relatives veying for your attention that night. Kind of hard to take a moment and feel the “Im a married woman now.” Everything will work out, this is life. Just remember, you and Kyle were married on a full, full moon, how cool is that. It will be good Kadee, you choose a good man to walk in life with, thats what counts. Love you, Maria

  3. First of all; it’s good to have you back Kadee! And I can totally relate to what you have been going through as you get used to being a Mrs. (I got married July 10, 2010) So thank you, for coming back and sharing your thoughts and life with us and for making the rest of us new Mrs. our here feel like we’re not the only ones who feel this way. Keep up the great and inspiring work!

    • kadeeswedding

      Hi Chelsea – I just saw your comment. Thank you so much for telling me that my work is helping you. You’ve inspired to pick continue with writing for you all. 🙂 I can’t tell you how much I appreciated/needed your comment just now!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s