Tag Archives: tidbits

peace out antiquated trends + traditions

Engagement, it totally changes the relevance of weddings for you as a guest.

All of a sudden you start scrutinizing the invitation of a dear friend, front to back, knowing exactly how much time and money went into it {Letter pressed, really? Girl should have gone without and saved the dough!} You start making a mental check-list of how yours is going to be better.

Then, when you actually get to the wedding, you find yourself picking apart every detail, sizing up the centerpieces, taking note of posture, examining the font size on the programs, and performing a Top Chef-worthy taste test on your free meal.

No joke – this is what being a to-be-bride turns you into.  Basically a wedding researcher {forget the “guest” part of it}.

On the other hand, you do learn to appreciate the little things that others may not notice or forgive. You know what it means to get that RSVP in the mail on time, understand that the slightest default on the address label doesn’t really matter and accept that the bride can {and inevitably will} go a little nutty at any point prior to the ceremony.

If you are not, or have not, been a bride, you may not understand. Brides – they make wedding planning their life for a year plus, and it’s too easy to judge others when you’re going through the exact same process.  Hence the phrase bridezilla – most often given to her by someone other than a current or recent bride. You may not understand ’til you are – simple as that.

My point is that it turns you into a very judgmental person.  And that’s not necessarily a negative inference {or positive for that matter} – you just change the way you observe how things go down.  TLC even picked up on this little character morph with their new series, Four Weddings.  The entire show is based on four brides attending each others’ weddings and judging them from best to worst. Winner gets a free honeymoon.

Anyway – I’m swaying from the point of my post, but you get the idea.

Having attended a friend’s recent wedding, there were details that I, of course, couldn’t help but focus on through out the night. And I’m talking intricacies – things normal people probably didn’t see at all. But it really got me thinking about antiquated traditions, wedding activities I don’t care for and certain events that seem a little odd – for us.

Disclaimer: these are my opinions and my opinions only. They’re not right or wrong.  Just because it’s a “tradition” though, doesn’t mean you have to do it. Remember – to each her own.

Traditions  I’ve observed/don’t like/aren’t including in my wedding day

{get out of there}

garter toss: Okay, I do love garters. I think they’re cute. I think they’re fun. However, my new husband crawling up under my dress in front of grandma is neither.

receiving line: This one can go. It takes up too much time and makes for a few awkward embraces among people you’ve only met for the first time.  Not to mention, those that want to chat will hold up the line, delaying dinner and making others a little grouchy.  In the Yakima heat, no less.

head table: I get that the bride and groom may want their dearest friends to surround them for their first meal as man + wife. I even get that they want them to “stand out from the crowd.” However, it alienates the significant other of a bridal party member and chances are, they don’t know many people there. Sure you can do a gigantic head table to accommodate for the significant others, but there are two alternatives I prefer:

1. Ask your best man and maid of honor (and their counterparts) to sit with you, making the head table a total of 6;

OR

2. Make the head table a table for two and reserve the needed number of tables around you for the bridal party and immediate family – making room for all.

{how awkward. no dude lays like that.}

cheesy poses: I want to have fun in my pictures sure, but cheesy poses {see above} make me cringe.

a too choreographed first dance: I’m all for learning a few steps in favor of the middle school sway for our first dance, but if you get too technical, that special moment becomes stiff and concentrated, rather than natural and light. I’d like to really just enjoy this moment . . . not stare at my feet the entire time.

cake smashing: It took a long time for me to get my face to look like that. Please don’t mess it up before the first dance. This silly little tradition can fade away for all I care.

tight updos: Again, this seems a little more high school dance than romantic wedding to me. I don’t hate them, I just don’t prefer them.

an all rose bouquet: I like roses, but we’re at a wedding, not a funeral. I prefer an array of blooms.

{love this idea}

taking pictures after the ceremony: Much like the receiving line, the lull keeps your hungry guests waiting and un-entertained. However, I do believe in a few exceptions: entire family pictures (you really don’t need them all there pre-ceremony); an all guest group shot; grandparent photos; signing of the marriage certificate, etc.

Mr. and Mrs. his first, his last name: Yep, I am taking his name – his last name. What happened to my first name? I’m still here and you can present us as Mr. and Mrs. his first name and my first name then, our last name.

poor posture: Bridesmaids – make sure that invisible string on your head (the one mom showed you) is holding your shoulders up. Also, feet together . . . you’re in a dress and heels, not boots and jeans. Poor posture doesn’t make for pretty pictures.

tiaras: Ew. Unless you’re the homecoming queen, just don’t.

{sorry Ms. Abdul}

keeping your back to your guests: Kind of. During the ceremony, at the very least, I’d like to try to keep some of my face visible to the guests. They want to see the emotion and hear the words.  It may be a little awkward to stand sideways, but when you have your back completely to your friends and family, much of the ceremony can get lost. I don’t want that.

Hmm, I had a lot more to say than I thought.

Again, these are just my preferences.

Food for thought.

Make it you,

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the b word

My sister called me the B word last night.

Not cool, dude.

The b word – no bride wants to hear it.  Plus, have you actually seen Bridezilla (the WE show)? I’m nothing like those little crazies.

I don’t think. . .

Bridezillas

 

Well, just by chance this morning, the little story below, from Project Wedding, popped up in my inbox.

 Happenstance? Fate? A sign . . . ?

Maybe so. Maybe all of the above.  

Still – the fact this fell into my lap after being called one (to my face, no less), I decided to post it. I’m sure brides-to-be can sympathize and understand me (even if it’s just a little bit) in a way that others aren’t able to . . . yet.

Well, without further-freakin-ado, the history of Bridezilla.

How Bridezilla is Born!

Bridezilla: An engaged, spoiled princess whose every demand has always been met for her wedding. Is this you? (expert advice)

We’ve all heard the horror tales of Bridezilla and most of us have made promises to never become that unbearable bride ourselves. Now that your big day is almost here and you’re in the middle of planning the biggest event of your life – have you found yourself wondering how you’ll keep that promise and hide the Bridezilla that seems to be within us all?

Who is Bridezilla?

Some people believe that Bridezilla is a spoiled princess who’s every demand has always been met. The truth is, every single bride-to-be has the potential to become this dreaded wedding monster. The only thing on her mind is the wedding and she’s ready to destroy anything that stands in the way of her perfect day.

How is Bridezilla Born?

It usually starts with a little disorganization and the realization that time is moving much faster than the wedding planning. Once this happens, usually a few months before the big day, it won’t take much to create a new Bridezilla. The stress of planning a wedding is usually the real reason so many sweet and loving brides transform into monsters within a matter of minutes.

A few things that can trigger Bridezilla behavior:

  • A delay at the printer that holds up the invitations.
  • Learning that your bridesmaid dress is only available in certain sizes – none of the ones you need.
  • Asking the groom-to-be for his portion of the guest list that still isn’t done.

As the big day gets closer, it will take even less to bring out Bridezilla. If the early warnings go unnoticed and nothing is done, a big wedding disaster could be in the future. I don’t know of any girl that has made it her goal to become Bridezilla, yet it happens everyday.

Bridezilla Doesn’t Have to be You

The first thing to remember is that there will never be a perfect wedding, but new brides usually never care once the day is over and most guests never even notice. The other – a bride-to-be cannot live on planning alone. Don’t neglect your friends, family, and loved ones for the sake of the wedding and don’t let the planning consume you!

You can’t hold back the appearance of Bridezilla on your own so communicate with your fiancé, parents, and bridal party and enlist their support. Warn your groom-to-be of the Bridezilla warning signs and let him know his importance in the planning. Finally, when you become wedding-crazed and can’t seem to think about anything else – take a day off. No planning, no browsing, don’t even look through a wedding magazine, and definitely don’t talk about the wedding. The most important thing is to manage your stress and don’t obsess over perfection – take time for yourself and you’ll avoid the curse of Bridezilla.

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wedding poison

Wedding Check List

source

aka wedding porn (you see why I did not put this in the title?)

Well, we all know what the latter word in the phrase means, but how is the word supposed to mean anything wedding?

That was my first thought and though I chose to totally ignore the small epiphany I had while reading over the symptoms and complications (thus the power of porn – right?), it made total sense to me.  Anyway, in my inability to push away from “all that is bad,” I’m going to attempt to explain it to you.

Maybe you are you stronger than me.

Before I was even engaged (and I know I’m not the only one), I was addicted to wedding websites, books, magazines, blogs, etc. Basically anyone’s wedding that popped up with the next “click” of the mouse.  A form of voyeurism, I suppose, though in the manner of coveting another bride’s big day, instead of the fascination of . . . well, you know.

I would imagine what my hair would like, the silhouette of my dress and whom I would choose for my bridesmaids. With all the resources out there, it has become way too easy  for it all to consume us. The “wedding porn” describes a strong fascination with a fantasy world, which in turn causes you to become unhappy with reality.  For example, some of those gorgeous Martha Stewart weddings are just NOT do-able unless you have a party of 20 or those outrageous weddings on the  on TLC that, let’s face it, aren’t going to happen unless you plan to spend 100K.

This all in turn leads to stress – stress and a desire to make your wedding picture perfect. Literally.

As a bride, I know I’m micro-managing (a term I prefer over Bridezilla, okay?) and I feel like I have this idea in my head that just has to happen. I, quite often, freak out about all I have left to do, all the details, and all the little things – when all I really need is a reality check (often times it comes in the form of my mom, MOH or FI) to be happy with what I’ve accomplished.

A recent bride told me she had to “cut herself off” the closer it got to the wedding in order to keep her moving forward and with as little stress as bride-ly possible. I think this is a smart decision – my time will come soon.

On another note, check out the groom’s perspective on the matter – it’s actually pretty funny.

I wish they had wedding rehab for crazy brides.

Actually, I don’t.

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Secrets from the Cake Maker

 

 Meet Christie of Christie’s Cakes – cake aficionado, flawless froster and an all around awesome lady.  Not only did Christie take the time to meet with me and the FI on a family trip to Tacoma (since we couldn’t make it down to Yakima), but she also answered all our questions, led the conversation when we weren’t sure where to go next and brought some of the most amazing samples for us to taste test.  Being involved in the wedding process for almost 12 years, Christie has a lot of solid information to share with brides-to-be that I couldn’t resist posting it for all of you. Thank you again, Christie! I’m so excited to see our cake on the big day!    

How many years have you been baking cakes?      

I am starting my 12th year…     

How did you become interested in cake baking?     

My mom is truly the best baker in our family; she makes the best cheesecake, so I grew up baking.  I had a Holly Hobby oven at 6, and had my dad try ALL the flavors, all the colors.   So years ago when my youngest brother was thinking his girlfriend was the one, I decided I would do their cake.  After lots of practice, and offers from lots of guinea pigs (otherwise known as every friend of mine), I’ve gotten pretty good…     

What is the hardest thing about baking/your job?  

Having to tell people that I don’t have a spot left for their cake…  I am one of those people with a talent who loves to share it, so I am always sad that I have to turn them away.    

What do you love the most?   

It is probably two fold, first, I love working through the planning with them, being creative, sometimes brides have no idea which look they are going for, and when I see that light bulb go on for them I realize I have just helped them create that special cake their biggest day.  Second I love the finished product, and sometimes when I am lucky enough to be there when the bride sees the cake and smiles at me, I know I’ve been a part of that….  it’s a great feeling.   

 

What is your best skill for cake decorating?  

I listen to people, listen to their story, I think it helps me when I am decorating, and lots of patience!  

You’re known for your whip cream frosting, why do you choose this one?   I prefer the natural look it makes, and I love the taste.   Some people have a specific look they are going for and while whip cream can’t re-create say a “Mad Hatter” type color scheme, but it can do most other looks.       

On average, how long does it take to create a wedding cake and what’s involved in the process?  

Every cake is different, but the time starts from the first meeting, shopping for the ingredients, baking, designing, cleanup, and delivery…  sometimes it takes more time than I think, but I always make sure to leave myself plenty of time for each cake.   

Does it seem like everyone is straying from the usual two or three tiered cake with plastic “husband and wife” perched on top, in favor of something a bit more unique?     

The styles of the cake are sometimes offset or have both square and rounds together, or arranging individual cakes on separate stands.  More and more often people are choosing flower toppers, monograms, or more comical ones like bobble heads, or the bride chasing the groom.  

Are couples more interested in taste than design, or vice versa?    

I think everyone expects to show up and see a pretty cake, but when it’s pretty and it tastes good, people will be talking about it for a week…  I start with great family recipes, only book 2 cakes in a weekend, and never bake too early, freshness is critical to a great tasting cake!    

What are your favorite types of cakes to create?   

I love wedding cakes, they are so lovely, but I also love baby shower cakes with little pink accents and ruffles…… or maybe my individual Chocolate Fudge cake with Espresso touches!    

Have you noticed any trends lately?     

With the popular new shows like Cake Boss, people bring in pictures of cakes that cost several thousand dollars expecting for it to fit into their budget, those shows aren’t very realistic for what most people are looking to spend.  

What are some of the common mistakes couples make when choosing a wedding cake?   

I think people do more research, so I find brides do a pretty good job of knowing what they are looking for, I usually find the most common problem isn’t the cake, it’s the placement of the cake at the reception.   I do try and suggest things that they might not think of, e.g., keep it away from windows, avoid hanging electrical cords, or exposed outlets.  Make note of the things that are behind you in the pictures, sometimes these make for some laughs when the photos come back.   

What tips can you offer to those shopping for cakes for their own weddings?   

Bring pictures, the cake topper, and fabric swatches, it isn’t always necessary, but it helps to make sure we are thinking the same thing.     Pick flavors that will appeal to most people, remember brides, you aren’t eating the whole cake!     Many couples like to store the leftover cake in the freezer for their first anniversary, what storage tips can you offer?     

I would say about half of my brides intend to save their top tier, so I suggest that they put it in the box, put it in the freezer and then when they come back from their honeymoon, take it out, wrap it in plastic wrap, put it back in the box, and then plastic wrap the whole box….     

Are there any interesting “wedding cake” stories or mishaps you’d like to share? 

I have flown to Hawaii to do several cakes, and going through the airport with cake decorating supplies raised a few eyebrows!  Checking my cake luggage sure didn’t stop me from going again though!    

 

Celebrate, 

    

 

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8 GB Invite

Yeah, I totally thought my Save-the-Dates were cool.  Until I saw this invitation, by way of Offbeat Bride.

Darina and Niko – bride and groom to-be – unveiled their 8-bit video game wedding invitations {designed themselves} on the O.B. blog yesterday.

Darina explains:

“We knew that we didn’t want standard paper invites. We wanted something for people to keep and remember. We are geeks. We love video games. Why not have a video game invite?”

The video game has two choices – you can play as either the bride, or the groom.  You have to beat the game (all two levels) in order to get the wedding information. 

Here’s the game, played as Niko:

The invitations/games are packaged in jewel cases with info packets.  The CD also contains:

“…an original soundtrack and outtakes (it took me two hours to get the “I’m sorry Niko…” line straight). It also promotes our awesome singing skills, by singing not only the wrong tune, but also the wrong words of the Soviet hymn.”

The packaging, below:

For those of you who are interested, here’s where you can download and play the invitations! You can download it with Windows, or, using Wine, with Linux and Mac.

Wow – guess there’s a whole new game brides and grooms are playing these days {literally and figuratively}!

But, I have to say, I do love the mix of 1985 Mario/King Kong – ahh the good old days :).

I’m a fan.

Game on,

 

 

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I’m Frustrated with my Fiance

I’m Frustrated with My Fiancé! article photo

I think through out the planning process these feelings are bound to arise.  I think frustration, in general, is a common feeling in the months of wedding planning.  It’s natural.  You have a lot do.  A lot to coordinate.  A lot of people, numbers and places to keep on track.  That’s hard — and frustration can often be the result. 

While I don’t necessarily harbor these feelings for my FI right now, I know have been there before. And him with I.  However, I came across the article from Project Wedding and found it pretty calming to read – it helped me get into his mind a little more and gave me new insight into this whole ordeal. I hope you find the information helpful as well – now or in the future.

Wedding planning is a very exciting thing – you’re about to join the man of your dreams in a very sacred and special commitment!  Not only are you busy with the important plans which will work to make your big day special, but you’re dealing with the guests, the wedding party and everything else on top of your regular daily chores. 

If you’re feeling a bit miffed at the groom-to-be, you can feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.  If you’re saying, “Help! I’m frustrated with my fiancé,” here are some common wedding issues and solutions that may help.

I’m Frustrated with My Fiancé for Not Helping!

Have you noticed that your fiancé would much rather leave ALL of the wedding planning to you?  If you’ve been waiting for him to jump in and help and he hasn’t, it’s understandable that you’d feel a bit frustrated.  Perhaps your fiancé feels a little out of place in all of the planning.  Men typically feel clueless and overwhelmed when faced with planning a wedding. 

One idea is to give him specific, small tasks to accomplish.  By getting him to help in small doses, you will feel better and he won’t be overwhelmed.  Often times, it’s a simple case of crossed communication lines.  Be specific and you’ll probably notice that he doesn’t mind helping at all.

I’m Frustrated with My Fiancé for Not Cooperating!

Perhaps your fiancé doesn’t want to wear the tuxedo you’ve picked out for him or he isn’t really fond of the flowers you’ve chosen for the arrangements.  Don’t worry – many couples have differences of opinion when it comes to the wedding planning.  There are a few things you can do in this situation. 

Is it that important to you?  If your fiancé really has his heart set on something in particular, is it that important for you to have something else?  If you can give in without being too upset, perhaps it’s the best idea!

Try to compromise with him.  If you want one thing and he wants another, is there a middle ground you could meet on? By finding a solution that works for you both, you can be satisfied with the results and happy with your groom.

When you’re frustrated with your fiancé, remember that his little quirks and personality traits are what you love about him.  Chances are, there is a solution readily available if you just be patient and understanding.

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XOXO

source

a little history about the first thing we do when we’re announced man + wife 🙂

Do you know this information about Kisses?

adapted from Ruth McConnell, author of The Kissing Cure

1. A person burns 26 calories in a one-minute kiss.

2. Human brains have special neurons to help couples find each other’s lips in the dark.

3. As many as 278 colonies of bacteria are exchanged during a kiss.

4. An average person spends two weeks of their life kissing.

5. The scientific name for kissing is osculation.

6. A man who kisses his lady goodbye when he leaves for work every morning averages a higher income than a man who doesn’t.

7. Ninety percent of people worldwide kiss on the lips according to anthropologists.

8. Fifty percent of people have kissed before they turned 14.

9. Kissing can be a beauty treatment. Scientific tests show that good kissing helps reduce dermatitis, blemishes and skin rashes.

10. Kissing makes your hair glow and your hair shine.

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